Animation, Art, and Other Shiny Things
I never, ever, do any of these things; I only post them so that you, the barely esteemed reader, may avoid these multitudinous errata that oft befall the modern scribe and flock to one’s pen like moths to a china shop.
This first bunch is by Frank L. Visco, originally published in the June 1986 issue of Writers’ Digest
Avoid Alliteration. Always.
The following is derived from the late William Safire’s Rules for Writers
Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.As an added bonus for especially challenged aspiring wordsmith here is a link to several visual representations of how to wield written language correctly. Heed them. It will save you from annoying hordes of people by either your own egregious usage or the nuisance of wading through the host of grammar nazi posts that always follow.
(go and click that link now. it’s to theoatmeal.com and besides being constructive, they are really quite funny. in fact the whole site is, but for now you should probably focus on learning the rules to the writing road instead of cavorting around on strange websites, as tempting as that may be. just the grammar parts for now and take notes if you need to. go on, this post will be here when you get back)
It’s a bit long, but I like that it features just about every one of the muppets for at least a few seconds. (OK Go, while I like them, have a few too many seconds, imho)
I think this is one of the few times one can say that it isn’t over when the fat lady sings…
Haven’t felt all that well this week and perhaps that has been inhibiting my digressioning as of late. If not, it makes a pretty handy excuse and one that I believe I’ll stick with for the moment.
Rest assured that there is a couple pretty decent ideas sitting in the draft queue, but they’re the needs-another-page types that tend to get big and there’s little I can do about it. They drive me nuts, and I can only imagine what it must mean for you, the barely esteemed reader, as you get to read what passes as the culmination of the struggle I have between the curtness of generalized brevity and a pedantic digression into the weeds.
Anyways, to tide you over I offer a trio of Joe Bonamassa videos.
I came across this gentleman a few years back and have steadily accumulated a near complete discography. This is some of the best dirty blues I’ve heard since Stevie Ray Vaughan. Technically jaw-dropping and vocally wrenching, he makes you feel the blues.
He’s coming to Seattle in December, but tickets are rather pricey as, it turns out, I’m not the only one to be a big fan of this guy. Who knew?
[Edit: it appears that this is the 100th post. woo hoo!]
Two of my favorite things, together; science humor and cats!
I, for one, welcome our Chemistry Cat overlords…
Quickmeme.com has a bunch of ’em collected for our perusing pleasure and there are generators everywhere.
And this is a perfect excuse to post a great little animation of Tom Lehrer’s The Element Song. The man was brilliant and will have a digression of his own here one of these days soon.
The results of the 29th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Awards are out and the overall winner is by Sue Fondrie from Oshkosh, WI:
Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.
My personal favorite was the winner in the Fantasy category by Terri Daniel from here in the Emerald City:
Within the smoking ruins of Keister Castle, Princess Gwendolyn stared in horror at the limp form of the loyal Centaur who died defending her very honor; “You may force me to wed,” she cried at the leering and victorious Goblin King, “but you’ll never be half the man he was.”
And for my honorable mention, the runner-up in the sci-fi category by Elizabeth Muenster from Columbia, PA:
Sterben counted calcium bars in the storage chamber, wondering why women back on Earth paid him little attention, but up here they seem to adore him, in fact, six fraichemaidens had already shown him their blinka.
I have written a sentence like that before and perhaps worse.
Find out more about the contest and read more abominable first lines at the Bulwer-Lytton website (where “www” means “wretched writers welcome”) and check out my post on last year’s results.
I worked in a veterinary clinic as a teen and can attest that this works – to varying degrees. A hard-wired behavior that keeps them from squirming overmuch when mama cat carries them.
And no, I will not be trying this on Izzy. I mentioned it works better on some cats than others? Yeah, and you have to get the cat by the scruff in the first place. Iz would make me pay dearly…
Consider it an educational film…
In 1935 endurance contests were all the rage; walkathons, bicycle races, danceathons, so many types of endurance contests that Michigan (and South Carolina too, I believe) enacted a law banning the promotion, conducting, or participation in any that lasted more than a day.
1935 Winners Clarice Martin and Bernie McKay
Despite this, the contests continued to endure (sorry, but not really) and one sports promoter by the name of Leo Seltzer decided to cash in on the fad by staging a “Transcontinental Roller Derby”.
From the National Museum of Roller Skating web site:
Drawing on a restaurant tablecloth in Chicago’s Johnny Ricketts restaurant, sports promoter Leo A. Seltzer, came up with the idea of a roller marathon in the spring of 1935. By early August, 50 skaters had been selected to compete in 25 male-female teams. The first Transcontinental Roller Derby opened at noon on August 13, 1935. Twenty thousand Chicagoans filled the air-conditioned Chicago Coliseum to witness the 25 teams skate 3,000 miles around the track, a distance equal to that between San Diego and New York City. The winners would be the team to cover that distance in the shortest time. Each team had to travel a given number of miles in every 11 1/2 hour daily skating session. During the entire time allotted for the race, one of the two members had to skate or else the team risked disqualification.
The event lasted until September 11th and was so popular Seltzer took it on the road.
In 1937, however, changes were made to the sport that created the Roller Derby we know (and love) today. Instead of multiple male/female pairs, teams were comprised of 5 players each and two teams competed to score points which were earned by lapping opposing players. Contact was also allowed, letting players push and shove each other.
And that’s when Roller Derby really took off.
Raquel Welch in Kansas City Bomber (1972)
With pushing and shoving and elbows flying, the Roller Derby of the 1950’s and 60’s had a close kinship to the exaggeration of “Wrassling” (aka pro-wrestling) with matches following more of a morality play style of storyline which helped fuel the huge popularity of the sport.
As a kid in the 60’s I watched Roller Derby whenever I could, which usually meant late Friday or Saturday nights and almost always included the Bay City Bombers as one of the contestants. (of course I saw Raquel Welch’s movie Kansas City Bomber! It wasn’t just for the Roller Derby, though…)
In the early 70’s, and despite a huge fan base, Roller Derby began to suffer bankruptcies and in 1973 pretty much ceased to exist. Although relatives tried to spring up, such as RollerGames and RollerJam, nothing really caught on like the old Derby recipe itself. I tried to get my interest in them, but the glitz and glamour sounded the wrong note for a grit and guts game that I felt Roller Derby was. Almost as soon as they formed they faded away anyways.
Until 2004…
The banked tracks, if you could find them, were old. Building new ones was expensive and insurance costs were prohibitive even if you could afford to. WWE had a hammer-lock on the sports entertainment industry. That didn’t mean alot to a group of women out of Austin, Texas who tweaked the game into a version that could be played in a roller-skating rink and in 2004 the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) was formed.
Now this wasn’t exactly like the old Roller Derby – while the hype and show around the game was still over-the-top, the game itself became an actual competitive game without a pre-decided direction or outcome.
Surrounded with a “Rock-and-Roll Rebel” style and kitschy sensibilities Roller Derby is on the rise again with 117 WFTDA member leagues and 72 “apprentice” leagues spread across the country.
Seattle's Own Roller Derby Queens. Their Mascot? Rat Bastard, of Course
And I feel quite fortunate that one of those leagues is here in Seattle; The Rat City RollerGirls.
Aunt Bee and I had been promising ourselves to make it to a match ever since RCRG formed, but it took Young Master Z to make it happen by giving me a couple tickets for Father’s Day. They were for the RCRG Championships, no less.
I’ll spare you a play-by-play because, frankly, I can’t recall exactly how it all went down, but suffice it to say that we had a most excellent time! Starting with the National Anthem done by a Mexican brass band Banda Vagos, through the 3rd/4th place game (Derby Liberation Front vs Sockit Wenches), via the halftime Aerialistas, and on into the final match to crown the Champion (Grave Danger vs Throttle Rockets), it was a circus atmosphere punctuated by hard-fought games.
The gentleman with the horned headgear is wearing a red and black tutu. So is the kid behind him with the pom-poms.
And the fans! We were sitting in the Grave Danger team’s section and a couple rows in front of us sat a huge, powerful looking guy in GD red and black wearing a tutu. Think about that for a moment. Yeah, that’s a Fan, big time, and the arena was full of em (over 4,000 folks). We weren’t sure we would ‘blend in’ to the crowd, our being 50ish hippie throwbacks, and me with long, white hair, but there was such a riot of style and color and age that there was no way you couldn’t fit in!
Re-AnimateHer, My RCRG favorite player. And she's not just a pretty face (plus), this girl can skate!
And there, inside Key Arena in Seattle, where I’d watched many a NBA and WNBA game, my love of Roller Derby was renewed and refreshed. Now I have a favorite intra-league team to root for (ok, two of em, actually) and a favorite player (Re-AnimateHer) and intend on making it to more than one game next season.
On the down side, though, I probably won’t be meeting any of my Roller Derby Queens any time soon as the post-match parties are at a bar and I have yet to darken a pub’s door since getting out of the pool three years back. But perhaps by next year…
(if you’re wondering, and i assume you must be if you’re still reading this, Grave Danger won the championship. if you weren’t wondering, then i commend you on your politeness at reading this entire post. a blog needs more readers like you. well done.)
No, it’s not a digression. (but it is a great tune)
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