The Ruffled Crow

Slenderwing gull

It’s been two weeks since Miz Liz, the older of our 2 youngsters, moved to the Rose City – Portland, Oregon. She actually left the nest last September, coincidently moving into the same apartment building I was living in when I met her mother.

Being a short bus ride away, or 10 minutes in the Caddy, was enough to assuage my wife’s worries easily. Her moving 4 hours down the motorway doesn’t contain much assuaginess for Aunt Bee however. We’ve got family in Portland, or rather Aunt Bee does, so there is a tad of assuagnicity going on, but clearly not enough. I mean, just to visit her young’un it’s 4 hours by train, or a bit less by Caddy. (Under my steerage, of course, as Aunt Bee does not deign to lower herself to operating a motor vehicle. With advanced degrees in both Pedestrianship and Passengerism as well as a Backseat Drivers License, she’s entitled. Besides, the Caddy is made for that drive)

Not conducive to a spur of the moment drop-by, one might say.

So, as she can’t stop by on a whim any more, Mohamed will go to the mountain – for a week. As I have to work, she’ll take the train down on Tuesday then I will drive down and pick her up over the following weekend. No problem, right?

Well… maybe a few small sticky wickets… Over the interim 4 days I fear I will starve before I can make the drive down, and if I don’t, I may be so addled by lack of food I could run off the road and over a cliff and die a horrible, fiery, (and definitely spectacular) death.

Aunt Bee was significantly less than impressed by this argument noting that I actually kept myself alive and somewhat fed before she met me lo those many years ago. And yes, I could probably remember how it is done, and no, I hadn’t destroyed that many brain cells in the interim nor do I have early-onset Alzheimer’s.

My further points were dealt with in much the same manner; Boredom? If, between books, television, and the internet, I got bored then I was one sorry human. Laundry? See the above argument about food, and don’t wash anything in hot. Cold in bed without her? There’s extra blankets in the closet and a hot water bottle under the bathroom sink. Starvation? We went over that, am I retarded?

Finally, in exasperation she pinned me to the chair with her most piercing ‘Stop While You Are Still Getting Some’ look. I took that opportunity to shut the hell up figuring that it might get me some.

Anyways, I guess the point is that it’s one thing to have a child living close by; within easy reach to rescue when their car breaks down or their computer lets out the magic smoke, it’s quite another for it to be a trip in and of itself just to visit.

I have a feeling that when Z spreads his wings I’ll be much less calm about it than Aunt Bee’s been.